I attended a “graduation ceremony” today. It was done by appointment and limited to four family members and friends. I realize how difficult the pandemic has been on the class of 2020. They missed some milestones in their lives that many of us remember fondly such as prom, senior cut day, after prom, the senior trip, senior week, and the opportunity to celebrate graduation with a host of family and friends. For so many, graduation is the only ceremony that they will ever experience. That’s why many families make a big event of senior year. They spend money to make sure their child has a memorable prom and graduation. Don’t judge them negatively. Their student may not go on to college, so the high school graduation and prom are a big deal. I came to understand that as a teacher and principal working in urban school districts.
See, for some families, graduation is not just for the student. It’s an opportunity for the family to celebrate a success that some of them were not able to realize themselves. They may have went on to get their high school diploma later, but there was always a longing for days gone by when they wished they had graduated with their class. I understand their feelings, and I empathize with them. The same thing goes for prom.
Some parents really go all out for prom. I have seen students arrive in horse drawn carriages or vintage cars. It may be expensive or exaggerated to many of us, but again, I have a personal understanding of why it is so important, so I don’t look down on those parents who go that route. I remember being excited like everyone in the community for prom in one district where I worked. Almost everyone in the community would report to the football stadium on the day of prom to wait for the seniors to arrive dressed to the nines. It was exciting, and it was love. The community members would take pictures and cheer them on. I was so proud to be right there with them, celebrating our students. They knew who I was, and they had nothing but love and respect for me, and I them.
Often in talking to parents and families, I learned they did not attend prom because maybe they were giving birth to that child who was now a senior, or maybe they could not afford to attend. I don’t mean to digress, but I feel compelled to add this caveat for those who will read this and automatically begin to criticize with no background information. Unless you have walked in someone else’s shoes, you have no idea the twists and turns they have experienced, so be kind, and speak words of goodness to them.
I don’t take seniors’ disappointment away from them, and I understand how much this time in their lives meant to them. Many of them have looked forward to their senior year their entire lives. I am very sorry that the pandemic has taken that experience away from them. I encourage the class of 2020 to take joy in the fact that they made it from kindergarten-twelfth grade. Praise be to G-d! That is a great accomplishment for many.
Please keep the class of 2020 in mind and be conscious of how difficult this pandemic has been on them personally. Some of them may be depressed, and you don’t even know it because your attachment to being a senior and all that it brings is not the same as theirs. Let them know how proud you are of them. Let them know they are loved and you celebrate them every day. If you can, have a celebration with the family that will rival anything the school could provide. Let them know how important their virtual or actual walk across the stage to receive their high school diploma means to you and the ancestors who were unable to do so by no desire of their own.